The
Babylonian Marriage Market, by Edwin Long (1829-1891). There are too many young
men on the mate market, particularly in the White American community.
It
sucks being young, male, and single. Don't think so? Go to the Interactive Singles Map of the United States and see how it looks for the 20 to 39 age
group. Almost everywhere single men outnumber single women.
And
the real picture is worse. For one thing, the imbalance is greater among singles
without children. This is not a trivial factor, since single mothers are
"single" only in the sense of being available for sexual relations.
They are still raising offspring from a previous relationship and many are not
interested in having more children.
Then
there's polygamy—or "polyamory," to use the preferred term—where a
minority of men controls sexual access to a larger number of women. If we
compare the 1940-1949 and 1970-1979 cohorts of American adults, we find an
increase in the number of median lifetime partners from 2.6 to 5.3 among women
and from 6.7 to 8.8 among men (Liu et al., 2015). Because this figure is more
variable for men than for women, young women are more likely to be sexually
active than young men. This is crudely seen in infection rates for chlamydia—the
most common sexually transmitted disease. Hispanic Americans still show the
traditional pattern of greater sexual activity among men than among women, the
rates being 7.24% of men and 4.42% of women. White Americans display the
reverse: 1.38% of men and 2.52% of women (Miller et al., 2004).
Finally,
there’s a racial angle. This sex ratio is more skewed among White Americans
than among African Americans, mainly because the latter have a lower sex ratio
at birth and a higher death rate among young men.
It's
hard to avoid concluding that a lot of young white men are shut out of the
marriage market ... or any kind of heterosexual relationship. This wife
shortage was once thought to be temporary, being due to baby-boomer men getting
divorced and marrying younger women from the smaller "baby bust" cohort.
With time, they would get too old to compete with young men, and the problem should
resolve itself.
Today,
the crest of the baby boom is entering the seventh decade of life, yet the
update to the Interactive Singles Map shows no change to the gender imbalance.
So what gives? It appears that demographers have focused too much on the
baby-boomer effect and not enough on other factors that matter just as much
and, more importantly, show no signs of going away. These factors can be
summarized as follows.
Re-entry of older
men into the mate market
We
have a mate market where 20 to 50 year old men are competing for 20 to 40 year
old women. That in itself is nothing new. But something else is.
The
baby boom eclipsed an equally important but longer-term trend: more and more
men are living past the age of 40. With or without the baby boom, we’ll still
see large numbers of older men getting divorced and marrying younger women. The
cause isn’t just liberal divorce laws. It’s also the fact we have far more
older guys out there as a proportion of the population.
Sure,
we will also see younger men pairing up with "cougars" but there are
limits to that option, as noted in a New Zealand study:
The
male partner may want to partner up with someone younger or have children,
which may not be possible with an older woman (for physical reasons or because
she chooses not to have (more) children). The younger male partner may not want
to become a step-father to existing children. Research has shown that
childbearing can be the ultimate deal breaker in this kind of relationship.
(Lawton and Callister, 2010)
Persistence of the
imbalanced sex ratio at birth
About
105 males are born for every 100 females among people of European origin. This
sex ratio used to decline to parity during childhood because of higher
infantile mortality among boys. It then declined even farther in early adulthood
because of war, industrial accidents, and other hazards. This isn't the distant
past. If you talk with women who came of age in the postwar era, they will tell
you about their fears of remaining single past the age of thirty. At that age, very
few single men were left to go around.
Well,
things have changed. The skewed sex ratio at birth is now persisting well into
adulthood, thanks to modern medicine and the relative peace that has prevailed
since 1945. Women begin to outnumber men only in the 35-39 age group in the
United States and in the 40-44 age group in the United Kingdom.
Equalization of
male and female same-sex preference
Historically,
same-sex preference was more common among men than among women. This gender gap
appears to be closing, according to a recent study:
The
percent distributions were quite similar for men and women; however, a higher
percentage of men identified as gay (1.8%) compared with women who identified
as gay/lesbian (1.4%), and a higher percentage of women identified as bisexual
(0.9%) compared with men (0.4%). (CDCP, 2014, p. 5)
Disparities in outmarriage
At
present, there are more White American women outmarrying than White American
men, particularly in younger age groups. This disparity is mainly in marriages
with African American men, there being no gender difference in marriages with
Hispanic Americans and the reverse gender difference in marriages with Asian
Americans (Jacobs and Labov, 2002; Passel et al., 2010). Overall, this factor
further skews the ratio of young single men to young single women in the White
American community.
This
disparity isn't new. What is new is its extent, for both legal and common-law
marriages. An idea may be gleaned from statistics on children born to White
American women, specifically the proportion fathered by a non-White partner.
For the U.S. as a whole the proportion in 2013 was between 11% and 20% (the
uncertainty is due to 190,000 births for which the father's race was not
stated). By comparison, the proportion in 1990 was between 5% and 13% (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2013; see also Silviosilver, 2015).
Whenever
this issue comes up for discussion, there are often reassurances that the
disparity will disappear in a post-racial world that has been cleansed of
"White privilege." I'm not so sure. The European female phenotype
seems to be very popular, and this was so even when white folks were
geopolitical weaklings. Today, the term “white slavery” is merely a synonym for
prostitution, but it originally meant the enslavement of fair-skinned women for
sale to clients in North Africa, the Middle East, and South Asia. At the height of this trade, between 1500 and
1650, over 10,000 Eastern Europeans were enslaved each year for export
(Kolodziejczyk, 2006; Skirda, 2010). The overwhelming majority were young women
and pre-pubertal boys who were valued for their physical appearance. And yet
they were powerless.
No,
I don't think this kind of preference will disappear as whites lose
"privilege."
Exit strategies
So
more and more young men are being left on the shelf, particularly in White
America. How do they cope? Mostly by turning to porn from Internet websites,
videocassettes, or magazines. Love dolls are another option and may grow in
popularity as they become more human-like, not only physically but also in
their ability to talk and interact.
Another
option is outmarriage. In the past, this trend largely concerned older men marrying
East Asian or Hispanic women, but we’re now seeing plenty of young men outmarrying via
Internet dating sites. Despite the local supply of single women in the African
American community, there is a much stronger tendency to look abroad, generally
to women in Eastern Europe, South America, or East Asia.
Then
there's gender reassignment, which means either entering the
other side of the mate market or tapping into the lesbian market. It’s a viable
strategy, all the more so because many white boys can be turned into hot trans
women. I'm not saying that some young men actually think along those lines, but
gender reassignment is functioning that way.
Finally,
there's "game." My attitude toward game is like my attitude toward
gender reassignment. Both are attempts to push the envelope of phenotypic
plasticity beyond its usual limits, and neither can fully achieve the desired
result. A lot of boys aren't wired for game, and there are good reasons
why, just as there are good reasons why some people are born male. Male shyness
isn't a pathology. It's an adaptation to a social environment that values
monogamy and high paternal investment while stigmatizing sexual adventurism.
Our war on male shyness reflects our perverse desire to create a society of Don
Juans and single mothers.
But
if game works, why not? Whatever floats your boat.
Conclusion
Ideally,
this gender imbalance should be dealt with at the societal level, but I see
little chance of that happening in the near future. If anything, public policy
decisions will probably worsen the current imbalance. Changes to public policy generally
result from a long process that begins when people speak up and articulate
their concerns, yet it's unlikely that even this first step will be taken any time
soon. Young single men prefer to remain silent and invent nonexistent
girlfriends. They also tend to be marginal in the main areas of discourse
creation, like print and online journalism, TV, film, and radio production,
book writing, etc. Leaf through any magazine, and you'll probably see more stuff
about the problems of single women.
So
this imbalance will likely continue to be addressed at the individual level through
individual strategies.
References
Centers
for Disease Control and Prevention. (2014). Sexual
Orientation in the 2013 National Health Interview Survey: A Quality Assessment,
Vital and Health Statistics, 2(169), December
http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/series/sr_02/sr02_169.pdf
Centers
for Disease Control and Prevention. (2013). Vital
Statistics Online
http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data_access/Vitalstatsonline.htm (for discussion, see Silviosilver, 2015 http://www.unz.com/pfrost/the-last-push-back-against-liberalism/#comment-896920)
Jacobs,
J.A. and T.B. Labov. (2002). Gender differentials in intermarriage among
sixteen race and ethnic groups, Sociological
Forum, 17, 621-646.
http://link.springer.com/article/10.1023/A:1021029507937
Kolodziejczyk,
D. (2006). Slave hunting and slave redemption as a business enterprise: The
northern Black Sea region in the sixteenth to seventeenth centuries, Oriente Moderno, 86, 1, The Ottomans and Trade, pp. 149-159.
http://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/25818051?sid=21105312761261&uid=3737720&uid=3739448&uid=2&uid=4
Lawton,
Z. and P. Callister. (2010). Older
Women-Younger Men Relationships: the Social Phenomenon of 'Cougars'. A Research
Note, Institute of Policy Studies Working Paper 10/02
http://ips.ac.nz/publications/files/be0acfcb7d0.pdf
Liu,
G., S. Hariri, H. Bradley, S.L. Gottlieb, J.S. Leichliter, and L.E. Markowitz.
(2015). Trends and patterns of sexual behaviors among adolescents and adults
aged 14 to 59 years, United States, Sexually
Transmitted Diseases, 42, 20-26.
http://journals.lww.com/stdjournal/Abstract/2015/01000/Trends_and_Patterns_of_Sexual_Behaviors_Among.6.aspx
Miller,
W.C., C.A. Ford, M. Morris, M.S. Handcock, J.L. Schmitz, M.M. Hobbs, M.S.
Cohen, K.M. Harris, and J.R. Udry. (2004). Prevalence of chlamydial and
gonococcal infections among young adults in the United States, JAMA, 291, 2229-2236.
http://jama.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=198722
Passel, J.S., W. Wang, and P. Taylor. (2010). One-in-seven new U.S. marriages is interracial or interethnic, Pew Research Center, Social & Demographic Trends,
http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2010/06/04/ii-overview-2/
Skirda, A. (2010). La
traite des Slaves. L'esclavage des Blancs du VIIIe au XVIIIe
siècle, Paris, Les Éditions de Paris Max Chaleil.
Soma,
J. (2013). Interactive Singles Map
http://jonathansoma.com/singles/